Hospital Hopper Gifts

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

'My patients are picking up so much medical knowledge through the media that I feel more like their consultant than their doctor.'

"It wouldn't kill you to pay your bill."

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"We're here to experience pleasure."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

1930's Lady.

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Warhol Exhibit

'Oh, the amenity!'

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

'Hello, front desk. This is the alien spacecraft suite. My wife and I are hearing strange noises.'

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

'A room with double beds, please.'

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"That's not a Tracey Emin - that is Tracey Emin."

"If I promise to come back serval times, can I get the group rate?"

'The Princess and the Mint.'

"It has a cream base because we hate you."