Hostel Hopper Gifts

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

Today's special... donuts.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"We're here to experience pleasure."

Nature Lovers

1930's Lady.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'You've had enough!'

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

"We're here, Harry."

'Oh, the amenity!'

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

Warhol Exhibit

Articulated taxicab serving two hotels.

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

"Would you mind if I sit here and wait for you to leave?"

'Hello, front desk. This is the alien spacecraft suite. My wife and I are hearing strange noises.'

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

'A room with double beds, please.'