Store Hopper Gifts

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Today's special... donuts.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

'You've had enough!'

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"It's a great work!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

"He's left out the staples"

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"If that were a Jasper Johns, dear, we could sell it for three million dollars."

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

Warhol Exhibit

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

Unfinished Masterpiece.

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

"Those old guys really had it!"

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'It's an organic still life.'

"Come on, drink up! Haven't you got gnomes to go to!?!"

Artist in formaldehyde