Decade Hopper Gifts

"I can't believe how ridiculous I looked 10 years ago."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Nature Lovers

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"I read 'Art News.'"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"He's left out the staples"

"It's a great work!"

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"If that were a Jasper Johns, dear, we could sell it for three million dollars."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

Unfinished Masterpiece.

Warhol Exhibit

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"Those old guys really had it!"

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'It's an organic still life.'

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

"That's not a Tracey Emin - that is Tracey Emin."

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

Artist with spot paintings

'So colour is this artist's vocabulary huh! Well his language is to colourful for me!'

Artist in formaldehyde

"Of course the paint is still wet ... it's modern art!"

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

"I'm on the haywain."