Decade Hopper Pillows

"I can't believe how ridiculous I looked 10 years ago."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Nature Lovers

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"I read 'Art News.'"

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

"If that were a Jasper Johns, dear, we could sell it for three million dollars."

Man getting hot looking at picture of desert.

"It's a great work!"

"He's left out the staples"

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"Those old guys really had it!"

Warhol Exhibit

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

'It's an organic still life.'

'So colour is this artist's vocabulary huh! Well his language is to colourful for me!'

'There's a strong minimalist influence in this artist's work.' 'Good! The less there is of it, the better.'

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

Artist with spot paintings

Artist in formaldehyde

"Of course the paint is still wet ... it's modern art!"

'He's crazy. He wants $40,000 for that one dollar bill!'

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

"That's not a Tracey Emin - that is Tracey Emin."

"I'm on the haywain."