Gallery Hopper Pillows

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'I have to disagree. I think the artist is laughing with us.'

"It says here that this was his non-productive period."

'In the past, they called me a lazy, unimaginative bungler. Today, I'm the celebrated superstar with the view for the essential things.'

'It's an organic still life.'

'This painting is a footnote to that painting.'

'I don't know art, but I know what I like.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No sir. That isn't the artist's telephone number. That's the price tag"

Buy a painting get to keep the artist.

An H pencil landing on top of an art gallery.

'So colour is this artist's vocabulary huh! Well his language is to colourful for me!'

'I love the message, but the art leaves me cold blooded!'

'The artist is very upset at the way we hung his picture.'

'I like it!'

'My hand in a museum, who would have thought it...'

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

'Apparently he's the first to have copied this particular idea.'

'Ah-choo.' - 'Guggenheim.'

'This must have been his blank period.'

"An intellectual is a man who can look at a Mondrian without thinking of Battenburg cake."

"I collect art. Or trash, depending on your point of view."

"Don't worry dear, accidents happen. Besides, thanks to you and your feather duster, I've just sold it to a collector for twice the original asking price."

"As much as I try I can't see this one as a wise investment."

Don't get it? Read this.

"Of course the paint is still wet ... it's modern art!"

Unfinished Masterpiece.

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

"Hey! What's the big idea!"

Andy Warhol 1928-1987 Stayed here for fifteen minutes.

Anyone would think it's Frieze week...

"I start with the main work, then knock off 20 or so preliminary sketches."

Artist with spot paintings

"It's a great work!"

Artist in formaldehyde