Church Hopper Gifts

'Herbert changes churches so often that we decided to skip the packing and unpacking stages.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Nature Lovers

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

Clubbing

"Can we get some more bread sticks over here?"

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Well, what's your recommendation?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

'A funny thing happened to me on the way to the church tonight..'

"Come on, drink up! Haven't you got gnomes to go to!?!"

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

Bouncer.

Two man congratulating a 'Jazz club' "Real Cool" and "Real Hot"

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

You are not here.

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

'My patients are picking up so much medical knowledge through the media that I feel more like their consultant than their doctor.'

Fortunately the Pastor didn't realize it, but his wife's new 'mod' hat was actually a clever disguise for two canisters of coffee.

'Lettuce pray!'