Hosepipe Wrangler Gifts

Gardening.

New Guy.

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

Watering the garden in the rain.

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

"He who controls the Internet controls the world."

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'It's for you.'

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Our name is Leylandii and we're the neighbours from Hell!'

The opinion poll ltd.

'Old Doc gets tired after a hundred head or so, and we try to help him out.'

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'

"When you've finished, could you do another for me?"

"Looks like we'll be walking today. The horses are staging a sit in."

As Farmer Ron wondered where his cows had gone, somebody started the truck.

'Stop complaining - you only get a horse if you're delivering first class mail.'