Horse Dealers Gifts

Horse dealer trying to sell an unfit horse by suggesting that it will keep improving

Drool Marks

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'It seats two comfortably.'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

First past the post.

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

'The car dealership is letting me buy an expensive sports car, one piece at a time. I decided to buy the steering wheel first.'

The car showroom

Remounts for the Yeomanry

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

'What he lacks in speed he gains in nose.'

"Don't let this one take any cars out for a test-drive!"

'Of course I will! Hey, I can't go wrong - my brother is a divorce lawyer and my dad is a gun dealer!'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

'I see you've found a cure of the 'new car fever'.'

'Mom! Hunter keeps saying I'm not a thoroughbred. Can you show him my papers?'

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"So the question you need to ask yourself is - 'Just how much of a mid-life crisis can I afford?'"