Horse Farmers Gifts

"If a horse's head is pointing south, where is the tail pointing?"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

The worm that churned!

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

First past the post.

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Stubborn Horses

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'It's a hybrid.'

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

Horse Clean-up

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.