Horse Owner Gifts

'Yes, it's toxic, but look: If the host dies, the worms die too!'

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

"I just wish I hadn't named her Yummy."

The Bob-Tail Nag

"Of course it's horse-proof. Everything I own is horse-proof."

Foreigner inviting a friend to see his horses

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

'Giddy-up: (interjection), a command to a horse to make it start or go faster... So, that's what he's been meaning all these years...'

'I see that you're feeding cubed hay, Bill.'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

Harry slowly accustomed himself to owning a horse.

'A horse that eats locoweed ends up as crazy glue!'

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"I specially lowered the horse but it didn't run faster..."

Skipping Horse

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Dog Walking Services

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'That was fun!'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."