Horse Buyer Gifts

Remounts for the Yeomanry

So Convenient!

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

'I'm too hot to trot.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'What's founder?'

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Stubborn Horses

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

Horse Clean-up

'It's a hybrid.'

"So then in comes this good-looking French vet from Vétérinaires sans Frontirères."

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

Stout gentleman: 'That's the way to get over a gate! I don't think you left me so far behind that time.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"Hundreds of eggs a year, and I've never seen a vet. The Mare has one foal, and it's the Mayo Clinic."

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

My horse for a kingdom.

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Talk about lack of trust! My trainer didn't even bet on me, but I showed him: I won the race!'

'I was hoping you could help me with an implant.'