Horse Breeders Gifts

"If a horse's head is pointing south, where is the tail pointing?"

"It appears that your stallion has been out to stud too long."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

Puppies

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

'I think I felt a foal. Why don't we run a blood test to be sure?'

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"His father came from a family of climbers."

Horse takes its owner for a walk.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

Stubborn Horses

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Impressive resume, but frankly, in your line of work, people just want to check your teeth...'

Good, but not Great Danes.

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'