Hoppy Humorists Gifts

"Don't tell me... Beer with hops!"

"Here we are."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'Therapy in L.A.'

Gangsta wrap.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Hipster Police Department

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

Newton discovers surrealism

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'I'm organic.'

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Gender Reveal

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

'This is a first Mr Cowbird. You've contracted mad cow disase and the bird flu!'

Robot porn.

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."