Hoppy Humorists Pillows

"Don't tell me... Beer with hops!"

"Here we are."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Therapy in L.A.'

Gangsta wrap.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Hipster Police Department

Newton discovers surrealism

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'I'm organic.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

Gender Reveal

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

Robot porn.

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!