Hop-loving Humorist Gifts

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Gary turns 40.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Elevator Music

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

Gangsta wrap.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

Musician Sneezing Musical Notes

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Hipster Police Department

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

'The drum roll is very nice... but it's still leftovers.'

''What say we knock off early tonight and go to a microbrewery?'

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

Dave :)

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Man playing huge complicated brass instrument.

Erica Duvale, piano - Beethoven - Total of opus numbers...

Quartet in the snow.

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

'Umm, you have a date yet for the hop...?'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

Mozart's symphonies often had several movements.