Hip Hop Humorist Gifts

'No, nurse, I said give her an enema.'

'We're trying to appeal to the Youth.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Football Chameleon

Gary turns 40.

"The Eggsorcist"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Emergency Hipster Beard

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

Elevator Music

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"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

Musician Sneezing Musical Notes

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

Gangsta wrap.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Hipster Police Department

Cover story: Plant World.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.