Hippo Humorist Gifts

'Face it, Fred -- hippos just aren't cut out for break dancing.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"The Eggsorcist"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Gangsta wrap.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Hipster Police Department

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Cover story: Plant World.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

'Don't worry, it's safe to come between us: He's not my kid...'

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."