Helipad Humorist Gifts

Hippo on helipad.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Downloading Pregnancy

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'Flight simulator'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"Gross."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)