Home Planet Humorist Gifts

Moon Dog at earth.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Yard Sale

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"There goes our early night."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Just the slippers is fine!"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"5...4...3...2..."

Mouse real estate!

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'