Helipad Humorist Pillows

Hippo on helipad.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"WHich one is mine?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Downloading Pregnancy

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'Flight simulator'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

Saline Drip Sommelier.

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"Gross."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare