Hoops Humorist Gifts

Gary turns 40.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

The Hockey World

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."