Hoops Humorist Gifts

Gary turns 40.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Trapped on the Pole Vault.

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'