Basketball Locker Room Humorist Gifts

'This is the NBA, Doug. It's a whole new level. You need to stop referring to your locker as 'my cubby'...'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Gary turns 40.

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The Hockey World

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

'It Kicked!' - 'Punt, Drop or Tad?'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

Magician Playing Golf.

"Are you pleased to see me or is that a vuvuzela down your trousers?"

'Put a little backspin on the ball.'

Football anagrams: Victoria do rule (Answer: Olivier Dacourt)

Revenge of the Latchkey Kids