Hoops Humor Gifts

'I'll take everything at the division line. You get the rest.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Gary turns 40.

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

'Hole in one!!!!'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

Trojan Hurdler.

Sloth 10K.

"Getting the hang of it?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Skate or die."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

The Hockey World

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Cat and mouse.

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Pole Vault Rules

The best goalie in the world!

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions