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'Since we did the make-over I just don't think you fit in any more.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Absolutely not!"

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Keeping warm.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

At the suit makers

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

His and Her wardrobe's