Home Style Guru Pillows

'Since we did the make-over I just don't think you fit in any more.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Keeping warm.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Mr Metrosexual.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Do you like my little black number?'

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."