Decoration Guru T-Shirts

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

'I could do that.'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

The Rise of Modern Art

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

His and Her wardrobe's