Decoration Guru T-Shirts

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Keeping warm.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Absolutely not!"

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

'I could do that.'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Mr Metrosexual.

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

The Rise of Modern Art

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

His and Her wardrobe's

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'