Home Goods Guru T-Shirts

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

Unusual Offers

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

House for sale - some assembly required.

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.