Home Goods Guru T-Shirts

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

GMOs: The Next Generation

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Only One Item or Fewer.

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

Unusual Offers

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

House for sale - some assembly required.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Try our new genetically engineered produce.