Groceries Guru T-Shirts

"So, Bond, we finally meet again."

"I don't know why I bought all the food. We're having a Zoom party."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'