Groceries Guru T-Shirts

"So, Bond, we finally meet again."

"I don't know why I bought all the food. We're having a Zoom party."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

French wine

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."