Supermarket Guru T-Shirts

Spring Water - Cholesterol Free.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

French wine

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

Gramma's Tators & Gravy...All You Can Eat!

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'