Home Life Humorists Gifts

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"The couch hates me Jane!"

Yard Sale

"But I use all of them!"

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Carpet Cows

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

His and Hernia's towels.

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'