Home Disaster Survivor Gifts

New Power Shower.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

'My hero!'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

Wallpapering 4

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"Feng Shwoops!"

'I think it's going to take a few months for me to get used to this accounting system!'

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'It's the plumber ... '

'I thought you got the hot water system fixed - these are HAILSTONES!'

Leaking washing machine.

'The good news is I've found a plumber... the bad news is he's coming from China.'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'