Domestic Disaster Survivor Gifts

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'Put water in a pan. Put pan on stove. Turn the burner on high...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"You overwatered the plant, again."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

'My hero!'

"Hello?"

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

Wallpapering 4

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"Feng Shwoops!"

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'I thought you got the hot water system fixed - these are HAILSTONES!'

Leaking washing machine.

'... and the kids are screaming and the house is a disaster, and my husband finally get gets home and says 'how was your day?'... so I bit his head off.'

New Power Shower.

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

Father-in-law - Break glass in case of emergency

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'Darn! The wife is gonna kill me for not reading the label.'