Home Survivalist Gifts

"Yes, in case you are wondering, and I know you are, that was me on the news screaming, 'If you don't let me go back to work, I can't be responsible for what I do to my husband and kids!!!' Anyway, it's really good to be back."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Commutobile

'Arf! Arf!'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

Running out of Gas.

Tsunami Evac Route

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"Back to school can bring on the summertime blues."