Morning Survivalist Gifts

"Stan's not much of a morning person...then again, he's not much of and afternoon or evening person, either!"

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'Arf! Arf!'

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'I know Lazarus software retrieves lost data, but I don't think it helps when your dog eats your homework.'

"Get your lunchbox, you're going!"

'I'm reporting you to the Department of Education!'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

Working Environment

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

Running out of Gas.

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'