Home Cleaning Gifts

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"Does it matter if the living room carpet isn't the same color all over?"

What we were promised...What we got.

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

'The 'man of the house' is out getting her hair done.'

'Wipe all your feet!'

'Yes, I wanted a knight in shining armour, but I didn't know it'd be me doing all the shining!'

'Mom, don't worry about the floor. I took my shoes off!'

"John, you don't have to dress up every time you do housework."

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

"Oh, so your next door neighbour was right... She said you wouldn't be able to afford one."

"Well, they don't want us in the house anymore and they're frantically cleaning up: I think they're going to sell our home..."

Biofelineism

"I just dusted off all our books. Apparently, we haven't read a book offline in a long time."

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

Spring Rituals

Cat sheds a lot when petted.

Instructions: Let wife do the washing

"Ah, we meet again, my old nemesis."

'You suck!'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

Robbie's pet spider was tired of Aunt May sweeping down all his webs,so during her nap one afternoon...

'Men always crack right when it seems they're staring to understand us.'

"Marge, did you leave something soaking in the sink again?"

"Yes, one of my husbands IS an imposter, but one can get stains out of the carpet and the other can bake, so it all works out."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I didn't spark joy."

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.