Home Appliance Salesman Gifts

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

"Does it come with magnets?"

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

Motatsu didn't want the guys to know that his wife made the shrunken heads by using a really hot dryer.

Jim's Smart Kettle

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'When I teach you to fold laundry, wash day will be totally energy efficient... for me.'

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

"The washing machine is very energy efficient. I just wish Frank was!"

'Wow, that really was concentrated dish soap.'

Dryer, 'lint filter'--'sock filter'

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

'It's just some 'Stir 'n' Blend', 'Bake 'n' Slice', 'Mix 'n' Broil', Chop 'n' Simmer and 'Pour 'n' Serve.'

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'