Appliance Store Salesperson Gifts

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

The world's most unemployable family

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

'It's just some 'Stir 'n' Blend', 'Bake 'n' Slice', 'Mix 'n' Broil', Chop 'n' Simmer and 'Pour 'n' Serve.'

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

'This one is more expensive, but it comes with factory installed door art and notes.'

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'Of course, the one you buy would be upright. This is just the floor model.'

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'