Appliance Store Salesperson Gifts

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

The world's most unemployable family

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

'It's just some 'Stir 'n' Blend', 'Bake 'n' Slice', 'Mix 'n' Broil', Chop 'n' Simmer and 'Pour 'n' Serve.'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'This one is more expensive, but it comes with factory installed door art and notes.'

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

The ice maker is leaking. Nothing can be done about that now. It's water under the fridge. F and E Plumbing.

'Why can't you guys be more like the hot water heater, who may pay for itself in two years.'

He sold appliances.

'Of course, the one you buy would be upright. This is just the floor model.'

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."