Appliance Repair Person Gifts

'Since my husband fixed the TV we get all our programs on the washer.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

The world's most unemployable family

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

A Pocket Knife Tool Belt.

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'No, you heard me right. I need my air conditioner fixed not my heater.'

I'd like to help, ma'am, but your dishwasher came with a "do not resuscitate" order.

Big Quiz. -900. +4800. +7230. Ernie, can you believe he calls himself a "smart appliance"?

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

The ice maker is leaking. Nothing can be done about that now. It's water under the fridge. F and E Plumbing.

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

He sold appliances.

Master Plumber

"I have to take it back to the shop and throw it away."

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'

"Hey, have you heard the one about the broken dishwasher, the irate customer, and the 'I don't give a damn' customer service?"

"Uh-Oh, a piece of cardboard got sucked into the dryer. . . Can't we just stick something in there?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'As usual, tech support is busy.'