Appliance Salesperson Gifts

New! Flat-panel Appliances.

"It's great for quesadillas."

He sold appliances.

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

The world's most unemployable family

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'Wow, that really was concentrated dish soap.'

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

'My favorite kitchen tool will always be the old fashioned fork moving automatically to my mouth!'

'It's just some 'Stir 'n' Blend', 'Bake 'n' Slice', 'Mix 'n' Broil', Chop 'n' Simmer and 'Pour 'n' Serve.'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"Look at it this way -- in three years your roof could leak."

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

'Hand over all your money or the toaster gets it!'

The ice maker is leaking. Nothing can be done about that now. It's water under the fridge. F and E Plumbing.

'This one is more expensive, but it comes with factory installed door art and notes.'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

Appliance Theatre

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.