Appliance Repair Person Pillows

'Since my husband fixed the TV we get all our programs on the washer.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

The world's most unemployable family

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

A Pocket Knife Tool Belt.

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

"Can you weaken the spring or something? -- It keeps knocking my coffee over."

'No, you heard me right. I need my air conditioner fixed not my heater.'

'The light stays on after I shut the door.'

'I just can't picture it in our kitchen ..got any sticky notes or magnets and crap we can plaster all over it?'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

Master Plumber

Dellson's refrigerator door seal repairs.

"I have to take it back to the shop and throw it away."

'Is there any way of keeping the light one when you're inside?'

'Why, now, my refrigerator isn't running. Who is this?'

"Some of your lost socks were clogging up the motor."

"Hey, have you heard the one about the broken dishwasher, the irate customer, and the 'I don't give a damn' customer service?"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

'As usual, tech support is busy.'

"Uh-Oh, a piece of cardboard got sucked into the dryer. . . Can't we just stick something in there?"

"Yes, it's self-defrosting. It also does a daily inventory, searches for the best deal and runs over to the store for you."