Appliance Repairman Pillows

Why appliance repairmen don't make cold calls.

'It'll take a few days for the dryer parts to come in. In the meantime, you might want to set some lint traps in your basement.

The world's most unemployable family

Appliance Repairmen's Fall Fashion Show

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Fixing the TV.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Tech support...can I help you!

"Was it a fuse?"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Frosty the Repairman"

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

'And the funniest part is I made Frank go out and buy a new, $5,000 fridge, just to hold a $4.00 bottle of wine!'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Here’s your problem. This isn’t a ‘Franklin’ stove, it’s a ‘Voltaire.’"

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Daily News Headline Writing Dept. Here's a story about a Colorado appliance salesperson involved in an auto mishap … "Denver blender vendor in fender bender!"

"You're late."

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"