Hollywood Observer Gifts

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

"When did movies start being dumb all year round?"

Takes One to Know One

"Harrison Ford, no question." "Tom Selleck, without a doubt." "I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better 'Indiana Jones'." "Ford was OK, but his character was less than manly." "What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness!" "You're telling me the 'definition of eighties manliness' could run around the world for weeks and months at a time... and never once grow anything more than a little stubb

Celebrity rehab.

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Leslie Caron.

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Buster Keaton

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

Tom Hanks

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

100 best beheadings

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Hollywood Breakup

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

After selling his life story, with movie and merchandising rights, Zorro had a new mark.

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'You believed Bing Crosby was a priest. Why can't you believe Ronald Reagan was a president?'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

Death Styles of the Rich and Famous

Christopher Nolan caricature

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

Fred Astaire

Jack Nicholson

Lord of the Rings IV.