Hollywood Insider Gifts

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'I thought Jennifer Anniston made a new movie but after seeing it I'm pretty sure they just keep playing the same one every other year.'

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Licence Plate in Hollywood - Just Remarried.

Quentin Tarantino

'I understand it's a non-speaking part.'

Celebrity Scandal

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

The Prozac Story: 'It's a feel-good movie.'

Lord of the Rings IV.

'Producers don't make money from bad living actors but sometimes we can make money from actors who have tragically died... You know what I mean?'

'Lindsey Lohan is in trouble again. We lawyers have a term for her...cash cow.'

Hollywood Removing the Stars of Sex Abusers

Inside Hollywood

"... And of course, because he's only a 'D-list celebrity' you'll get him much cheaper."

Golden Globes

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

'Anthony Hopkins will be offered the role of Saddam Hussein in a new Jessica Lynch movie.'

"Talk about a busman's holiday..."

'And who are you wearing?'

Warner Brothers put several whole scenes from "Justice League" up on Youtube. Wrong move. Ruins the mystery. To market a movie like this, one must be a mystery. An enigma. A reserved figure who gives the impression of a beast with rippling muscles lurking just below the veneer of a gentleman. Wait ... isn't that last part from your self-help book "Randy's Guide to Becoming a Mysterious Man"? You'd be surprised at how universally applicable these principles are, little buddy. Anyway, I feel like

What can I get you? An explanation about why Disney can't do what we all want the to do … and have the folks who made Rogue One go back and remake the super-lame Star Wars prequel trilogy. Would you like the inaccurate explanation or the accurate one? Inaccurate would be lovely, please. It's too soon to remake "Phantom Menace." Plus it'd be confusing. Besides, the prequels were good enough. What're you talking about? It's been 18 years since "Phantom Menace." And movies get rebooted all the time

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

Loyal Opposition

"This business is all about relationships. The guy who whitens my teeth is a cousin of the guy who does my Hair implants and his Sister-in-Law does my Botox."

Police vs. Paparazzi

Obscene Hollywood phone call

"He killed in rehab."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

"You want the gimmick? Here's the gimmick. Kevin Costner won't produce it, he won't direct it, and he won't star in it."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You need a Laurence Fisburne-Forest Whitaker-James Earl Jones type."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Leslie Caron.