Holiday Prep Gifts

Advent calendar of tasks in the run up to Christmas.

Christmas Tree Lights

Santa Claus's Mail

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Fight or Flight

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Stuffing the turkey.

Santa's wash day.

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!