Holiday Making Gifts

'I need to get away and unwind!'

Where your mind & battle are los

Santa Claus's Mail

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Night of the Latkes

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

Fight or Flight

"Ninja bread men"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'How very Cumbria.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Non-Denominational Carols