Holiday Cooking Gifts

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No madam, they're dead."

Cranberry Quandary

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"It's a fruitcake, not a catchall."

"What am I going to do with all this leftover turkey?"

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Turkey Autopsy

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

Santa's wash day.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

The other days of the year...

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

Chicken

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Making Christmas Pudding.

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

'I need to get away and unwind!'

"Don't even think about it."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"