Holiday Season Prepper Gifts

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"First class, or with children?"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Fight or Flight

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Santa's wash day.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

The other days of the year...

An office worker daydreams about a new poster.

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Everything for a buck.

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

"Don't even think about it."