Winter Prepping Expert Gifts

Long Johns and Short Johns.

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'According to the budget, we'll have to count on body heat to keep the offices warm.'

Santa's wash day.

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

'You'll have to excuse Gerald - he suffers from Seasonal Affected Disorder' (Naked man in arm chair in living room)

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Emergency Underpants

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"Well, they have to hibernate somewhere...and your airing cupboard is no exception."

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

How to save on your heating bill...

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

"You'll thank me when you see the heating bill."

"Hey, it's March, so it's safe to put the snow shovel away, right? Right?"

"What's this stench?! You know you're not supposed to store perishable items for winter right?!"

Now we wait for the snow.

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

'I'm knitting a cozy for the house.'

Helicopter Rescues.

'If it's my food supply for the winter then its different from hoarding.'

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

"I don't care if your ears are freezing. Get those covers off!"

Oh my goodness! Now these 500 cm of snow are melting!