Winter Prepper Gifts

Weather is getting bad. . . what you need in your car for winter driver and emergencies...

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

'First day of winter, get ready for a house guest.'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"I'm getting a snack. Want me to dig up anything for you while I'm out?"

"Try here!"

"What's this stench?! You know you're not supposed to store perishable items for winter right?!"

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Santa's wash day.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Prepper Dog

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

Disasters

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"Well, they have to hibernate somewhere...and your airing cupboard is no exception."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

How to survive the coming crash.

How to save on your heating bill...

Fire Assembly Point

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"Always be prepared."