Winter Prepper Gifts

Weather is getting bad. . . what you need in your car for winter driver and emergencies...

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

'You mean to tell me you forgot where you buried dinner?'

'First day of winter, get ready for a house guest.'

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"If I have this peanut in my pocket, it means I must have buried my keys!"

"I'm getting a snack. Want me to dig up anything for you while I'm out?"

"Try here!"

"What's this stench?! You know you're not supposed to store perishable items for winter right?!"

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Santa's wash day.

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Prepper Dog

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

Disasters

"Well, they have to hibernate somewhere...and your airing cupboard is no exception."

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"Always be prepared."

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

Fire Assembly Point

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

How to save on your heating bill...

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

Climate Change Contingency House

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."